In a previous post, I went on and on like a $15.00 Hallmark card about things I like in life. But someone (I believe it was Bugs Bunny) once said you can't have yin without yang, good without bad, The Terminator without a pale, groveling Woody Allen. So in the spirit of that wisdom, I give you....things I don't like:
- Disrespect for the elderly. The next time you are behind a slow elderly person, breath in, relax, and remember - they have been on this planet a lot longer than you. They may be a war veteran, a great grandmother, or a volunteer. To be sure, they have seen things you haven't, and lived in a time before a lot of our conveniences. Old people are ALLOWED to drive slow, you ungrateful punk!
- Finding the outdoors "Icky". Quit being so cosmopolitan and run around in the woods once in a while! You have Tivo, don't you?
- The whole "having to find someone" thing. It bugs me how people feel they aren't complete until they find someone. Why? Having someone is nice, but it shouldn't define who you are. Am I right? (goes to couch and watches Sleepless in Seattle while eating bon-bons)
- Not taking care of your tools/knives. Okaaaaay, so it's not the end of the world if you don't. But try, people!
(A younger me polishing one of my first knives, like a good little bladesmith)
- People who let their activism or education kill their sense of humor. Activism is a great thing, but try to not let it quell your irreverence. For example, read the following two statements: "The more librarian-like a woman's glasses, the more easily offended she is" and "For all we know, the baby seals are hatching a plot to kill us all". Did they make you smile, or offend you? Welllll?
- Those fake, modern log cabins. If you are going to live in a log cabin, it should be OLD SCHOOL
This is not a log cabin
THIS is a log cabin!
- People who are unable to fix small things around the house. You don't have to be Bubba the handyman, but come on, every man and woman should at least know how to hammer a nail and change a car tire.
- Meat-market type night clubs. You know the drill. The guys with their shirts unbuttoned and hair carefully disarranged. The girls pursing their lips and wearing their latest booty outfit. Everyone trying to act as "cool" as possible. It's all so absurd, how can anyone actually take it seriously? I'd love to see the Marx Brothers suddenly descend on the dance floor.
- Tearing down historic buildings. Once they are gone, that's it, there is no "do over". Hey, I am all for progress, but give a little nod to the past, it won't hurt cha'!
And now for a general list. I bet you dollars to donuts you agree with at least some of these:
- Car Alarms (they go off so often they are redundant)
- The little logos and ads at the bottom of the TV screen. Stop it! Who authorized this?
- The itch toxin in Mosquitoes. Is it REALLY necessary?
- Bling. Stop it!
- Celebrity worship. Hey, I think Angelina Jolie is pretty, but I don't care what she ate for dinner, or how many hundreds of kids she has (Unless she is having kids with me, then sentiment is somehow null and void).
- Bubonic Plague. Never liked it, never will.
- Talking on cellphones loudly in crowds. Yes, it is annoying, and YES it is bad manners. Stop it!
- People who make lists about things they like or dislike. (you KNEW that was coming didn't you? Didn't you?!!)
Well, that's all for now. My rant is over. The soapbox has been placed carefully in storage, and the indignant, furrowed frown is relaxed and non-agitated. Carry on!