Saturday, September 8, 2007

And Now For....Things I Don't Like! (insert circus music)

In a previous post, I went on and on like a $15.00 Hallmark card about things I like in life. But someone (I believe it was Bugs Bunny) once said you can't have yin without yang, good without bad, The Terminator without a pale, groveling Woody Allen. So in the spirit of that wisdom, I give you....things I don't like:

- Disrespect for the elderly. The next time you are behind a slow elderly person, breath in, relax, and remember - they have been on this planet a lot longer than you. They may be a war veteran, a great grandmother, or a volunteer. To be sure, they have seen things you haven't, and lived in a time before a lot of our conveniences. Old people are ALLOWED to drive slow, you ungrateful punk!

- Finding the outdoors "Icky". Quit being so cosmopolitan and run around in the woods once in a while! You have Tivo, don't you?

- The whole "having to find someone" thing. It bugs me how people feel they aren't complete until they find someone. Why? Having someone is nice, but it shouldn't define who you are. Am I right? (goes to couch and watches Sleepless in Seattle while eating bon-bons)

- Not taking care of your tools/knives. Okaaaaay, so it's not the end of the world if you don't. But try, people!

(A younger me polishing one of my first knives, like a good little bladesmith)

- People who let their activism or education kill their sense of humor. Activism is a great thing, but try to not let it quell your irreverence. For example, read the following two statements: "The more librarian-like a woman's glasses, the more easily offended she is" and "For all we know, the baby seals are hatching a plot to kill us all". Did they make you smile, or offend you? Welllll?

- Those fake, modern log cabins. If you are going to live in a log cabin, it should be OLD SCHOOL

This is not a log cabin

THIS is a log cabin!

- People who are unable to fix small things around the house. You don't have to be Bubba the handyman, but come on, every man and woman should at least know how to hammer a nail and change a car tire.

- Meat-market type night clubs. You know the drill. The guys with their shirts unbuttoned and hair carefully disarranged. The girls pursing their lips and wearing their latest booty outfit. Everyone trying to act as "cool" as possible. It's all so absurd, how can anyone actually take it seriously? I'd love to see the Marx Brothers suddenly descend on the dance floor.

- Tearing down historic buildings. Once they are gone, that's it, there is no "do over". Hey, I am all for progress, but give a little nod to the past, it won't hurt cha'!

And now for a general list. I bet you dollars to donuts you agree with at least some of these:

- Car Alarms (they go off so often they are redundant)
- The little logos and ads at the bottom of the TV screen. Stop it! Who authorized this?
- The itch toxin in Mosquitoes. Is it REALLY necessary?
- Bling. Stop it!
- Celebrity worship. Hey, I think Angelina Jolie is pretty, but I don't care what she ate for dinner, or how many hundreds of kids she has (Unless she is having kids with me, then sentiment is somehow null and void).
- Bubonic Plague. Never liked it, never will.
- Talking on cellphones loudly in crowds. Yes, it is annoying, and YES it is bad manners. Stop it!
- People who make lists about things they like or dislike. (you KNEW that was coming didn't you? Didn't you?!!)

Well, that's all for now. My rant is over. The soapbox has been placed carefully in storage, and the indignant, furrowed frown is relaxed and non-agitated. Carry on!


Jen said...

The disrespect for the elderly, I'm right there with you, but not taking care of knives...what?

BlondebutBright said...

Hee hee. When you say "Stop it!" do you also wave your arms in the air to complement your furrowed brow? ;)

I'm guilty on a few of those. Like changing a tire. I can put air in my bike tires - does that redeem me?

Jarod said...

Jen - I'm a custom knifemaker on the side, so that's why the knife mention (but no, I'm not a redneck, haha). A lesson - a dull, uncared for kitchen knife is actually more dangerous than a sharp one because you have to apply more pressure. It's true!
BbB - Yes, arms are waved, and fists are clenched. Air in the bike tire is not bad :), but anyone who has acomplished what you have can learn to change a tire! You can do it!

MisstressM said...

*Elderly people in LA drive corvettes and speed like demons. I think I am rarely face with your fist dislike.
*I LOVE the outdoor. Give me a tent and a sleeping beg, I just have issues with determining poison ivy from the pretty greenery. BIG PROBLEM…but I’m working on it…..
*/Im not going to find someone. This someone is gonna have to find me. And if I forever remain lost….oh well….
*Tools? Knives? I don’t know what you are talking about.
*I cant relate to the education one either.
* Did I ever tell you that my dream is to find a cabin far away from the crazy civilization near a creek and live there? No? Well, don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.
*CLUBS they make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate them. Wont go…wont dress up for it.
*Have you seen the old Victorian Houses in Michigan? Those things are beautiful or once were. Now they look ran down and useless. But there is still a story to be told.

Anonymous said...

Change my own tire?? No freakin' way..that's why I have AAA membership.

But before you condemn me... I own my own wrench set, screwdriver set, and cordless drill and single-handedly installed ALL the curtain rods and accessories in my home. Ha! Take THAT Bob Villa! ;)

When the creepy guy hit on me in the Home Depot with "hey baby, you need some help hanging those curtains" I replied "No thanks...I've got plenty of battery powered tools that can get the job done for me" :lol:

Jarod said...

MM - I lived in LA for a summer, and you are right about the driving!
CK - That's great about the curtains. You also do some historical crafts, don't you?

Anonymous said...

Yeppers Jarod. I can handsew a 10th c Norse Womans or Mans clothing from the skin outward (4-5 layers). I can tablet weave, I can dye fabric, I can make soap, I can resist dye a 5th c Roman Tunic (called a Dalmatic),I can spin wool if I have to, I can felt wool and make a god awful hat (no seriously, I can't believe my friends let me wear it!)

Needless to say...most of my talents lie in the "Textile" areas. :)

Oh...and I can't go more than 36 hours w/o the internet IF I'm staying in a hotel. ha..ha.ha..!

BlondebutBright said...

After watching that educational video, I'm starting to think you're right. It actually looks kind of...easy. Really? After all this time in the dark?

(I should note I have never in my life had a flat tire. Knocking on wood for the rest of the afternoon).

Jarod said...

BbB - That's what I'm saying - anyone who can write a dissertation can do it, no problem!

Not so little Woman said...

Ooohhh!!! I'm so there with the tearing down of old buildings. You are so right. There's no do-over, but do people realize what it is they're losing? I come from two countries with rich colonial heritage. One is good at preserving it. The other, not so much, and as a historian AND the child of two curators, I can't stand when I see one of those buildings torn down. Since it's illegal to do that, what they do is they either preserve the facade and build a horrid post-modern thing behind, or just don't take care of the building until it falls. Disgusting.

abbersnail said...

The itch toxin in mosquitoes! This makes me insane! It's a timely issue, really, because I currently have fourteen mosquito bites... all of which are on my left leg. What the...???