Friday, August 22, 2008

Jarod's Version of Movie Scenes

How often do you watch a movie scene and after it's over think - "Yeah, right"? Quite often, I would guess! Sure they're only movies, and that's part of the fun, but why not imagine your own scene outcomes? I'm going to pick some movie scenes, and then give my version of the outcome versus what Hollywood produced. I'd like to hear some of yours.

- The scene: "Timeline" where a group of modern day people are standing in front of English lord Oliver De Vannes after being transported into medieval Europe.
- Movie Outcome: After some discussion, one is beheaded and the rest are imprisoned
- My Outcome: They have trouble understanding what the English lord is saying, since he should be speaking middle English. De Vannes does not understand their modern dialect. They are imprisoned, and eventually get sick from drinking the water. They are believed to have brought disease and are killed. Credits roll.

- The Scene: "You had me at Hello"
- The Outcome: Jerry Maguire and Dorothy (Renee Zellweger) get together and things are great!
- My Outcome: There is a blackout, then the words "Ten Years Later" pop up. They are both a little fat, and the kid is still living at home. Jerry has become a drunk, because although he was caught up in the moment, he never really truly loved her. Dorothy is a pill popper, and miserable. Jerry is watching the football game while Dorothy looks longingly out the window, and the credits roll.

- The Scene: "Pirates of the Caribbean" where Kiera Knightly asks for Parley
- Movie Outcome: She gets it.
- My outcome: She is immediately attacked and killed.

- The Scene: (Spoiler Alert) End of The Usual Suspects, where Kevin Spacey is revealed to be Keyser Soze.
- Movie Outcome: He gets in a car and drives off, presumably to resume his criminal activities
- My Outcome: Upon reflection, he is impressed with his own acting talents. He joins a local theater, lightens up a little, takes up painting. Credits roll.

Saturday, August 16, 2008


Okay, so I just finished running a 5k in Charlottesville. This may be my first official 5k, and it was quite an event. Lots of people, an actual timer thingy (is thingy an accepted word?), and plenty of water bottles. It was for organ donation, which is extra cool. I didn't come in first, but hey....I didn't come in last. I actually did better than I thought!
"Yeah right, Jarod" you are thinking - "you just sat on the couch". Well Mr. Smarty Pants, here is a picture of my packet for proof! Next to Mr. Cat, who apparently had better things to do.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Today's T-shirts

Today's random t-shirt ideas:

- "There's a Strong Chance I Was Wearing This Yesterday"

- "I'm Tired Of Bracing For the 'Ride of My Life'"

- "If You Could See The Real Me....You Would Still Be Unimpressed"

- "I Wish Spiderman Would Stop Crying"

- "Don't Count Me Out, This is a $5,000 T-Shirt"

- "We're Only Replicants"

- "Warning: You Will Be Subject To A Plastic, Superficial Version Of My Personality"

- "Lawyer on Speed-dial"

- "Let's Face It: If I Were Better Looking I Wouldn't Need A T-Shirt To Get Attention"


Monday, August 4, 2008

What's The Difference Between a Catapult and a Trebuchet?

Don't deny it. You've been sitting there for hours, possibly days, wondering what the difference is between a catapult and a trebuchet. It has consumed you, turning you into a hermit, and your friends and family are concerned. Well load the stones and grease the gears, and I'm here to help! Here is the difference, basically:

- Catapults are any device that throws an object, although it commonly refers to the medieval siege weapon.

- Trebuchets are a TYPE of catapult, using gravity (with a counterweight) or traction (men pulling down), to propel the arm and often employing a sling at the end of the arm for greater distance. This is different from other catapults in that it doesn't use built up tension for it's throwing force.

I know, I know, there's more to it, Mr. Fancy Pants. This is a just quick fix - I'm trying to save you from a life of hermitry.

Here is a cool animation of a trebuchet -

If you want to see different types in recent films, watch the Return of the King - during the siege of Minas Tirith the Orcs use tension catapults (mangonels for the nerds) and the men use trebuchets. Also, in "King Arthur", the woads use traction trebuchets (men pulling down) - plus Keira Knightley is in a leather strap outfit (who needs historical accuracy?).

So now you know. Try not to launch pianos into your neighbor's lawn.

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