- Perhaps the true Lemming Line is accepting that Lemmings exist without ever actually have seen one.
- Don't cry over spilled milk, unless the milk is at full boil and spilled into your lap.
- Debate and talk about it all you want, but the best advice for getting a date is .... "Be good-looking"
- If your NASCAR dinner-plate collection costs more than your entire kid's wardrobe, your kids will end up in jail.
- "I Can Name All 48 States"
- "I Am Wealthy And Successful, And Wearing This T-Shirt Instead of Buying A Rolex Only Further Demonstrates My Impressive Frugality"
- "In That Brief Eye-Contact, You Were Both Judged And Catalogued"
- "Wearing This T-Shirt Has Completely Ruined My Chances With You, Hasn't It?"
- "I Am Bruce Jenner"