Monday, June 30, 2008

Stories in Two Sentences

Just for fun, why not write a story in two sentences? Here is my attempt:

- As Bert sailed over the Hudson river at 140 miles per hour, he folded his arms indignantly. 'You'd think they'd put safeguards on a 70-foot wooden catapult, he thought with a scowl.

- She looked at her chain-smoking husband, sitting on the couch with his 50 pounds of gained weight while clutching the remote and picking his nose. "Well," she sighed, "I was dumb enough to have kids with him, so looks like my life is pretty much laid out."

- 'Surely this is a dream' thought Marty "Stonewall" Hackenburg as the 25-foot Burmese Python tightened it's coils around his fat, middle-aged body and began sliding it's massive jaws over his head.
His cellphone began to ring a delightful little Joan Baez compilation he had picked out himself, and Marty - unable to move his hands - rolled his eyes at this new inconvenience.

- "Superman must be bored again" thought Mrs. Berklstan as she looked up at the moon, revealing a perfectly shaped, 10,000-mile engraving of Superman bent over and exposing his buttocks to the earth. "Well, he did a nice job with the cape this time."

- "Hey, what is this button?", Stan asked. Ten seconds later, the earth was covered in a mile thick layer of bean-dip.

'

3 comments:

Cléa said...

Very very good! My mind is thinking of the possibilities of that cape...

LisaBinDaCity said...

Damn, I like you! :-)

Tara Bene said...

After three solid weeks of arduous brainstorming on his whiteboard, Cal came up with an equation that created food molecules using only dirt and sand, thus solving the problem of world hunger. Being that he was utterly obsessed with this task however, he forgot to eat during his research period, and died alone in his lab, falling from a standing position with his sleeve brushing against the whiteboard on his way down, forever erasing the crucial mathematical equation.