Jarod's Top Ten Reasons To Sack Rome

You and your friends are bored. You've taken over Gaul....crossed the Rhine....introduced a new era of political instability....blah, blah, blah. You are getting restless. I mean, the other day you destroyed an entire caravan just for "failure to yield at a crosswalk". You NEED a hobby, something new, something exciting. But what do do, what to do?

Well gulp that mead and grab your low-thread linens - why not sack Rome?! As if you needed a reason, I give you TEN of them:

10 - More Fashionable armor. Let's face it, your armor is sooooo 301 AD (finger snap). Time to get WITH IT, people. And what's with that atrocious beard? Eewwww.
9 - Smaller, more practical goat-carts. AND, they can park conveniently - important when on the move, raiding villages.
8 - Better ice cream. You are not sure what ice cream is, or if it's even invented, but one thing you do know - if Rome has it - it's YOURS.
7 - Get the latest Gladiator gossip. Who's "in" this year? What are they wearing? Any scandals or rehab stints? And did you see Ordorus Agrippamus' performance at last week's Death Match Awards? Horrible. It's like he wasn't even TRYING.
6 - Get a Tan. Have you seen your pale legs lately, Northman? Eeewwwww.
5 - Free fiddle concert as Rome burns
4 - Hot Italian girls with cool accents. Why not check out some new scenery? I mean, around you it's nothing but GOTH chicks.
3 - The Emperor is a dork anyway. It's always "I will conquer this" and "I will build that" Time to knock that stupid wreath off his head!
2 - France is running out of surrendering villages. Okay, so France doesn't exist yet. But that doesn't stop them from raising their hands in surrender!
1 - And finally, Toga Party in the Forum! Last one there is a rotten sack of grain!

So, off you go....sack away, you wild and fun-loving barbarians, sack away!